He charmed me, I was totally crazy about him, and it broke my heart when it all fell apart even though it never fully came together in the first place. He may have been hard to get over but that doesn’t mean he was the one for me. It took years for me to realize that it was best we went our separate ways, even though my feelings lasted much longer. Here’s why it sucks so much:
1. YOU NEVER GET TRUE CLOSURE.When you’re never official with someone you fall for, the lines get blurred crazy fast. One day you’re talking constantly and the next, he’s gone—but was he really ever yours? Having a connection with someone and realizing they completely slipped through your fingers in the worst feeling. How do you explain your broken heart to friends who didn’t know him as your boyfriend?
2. YOU CONFUSE WHO THEY WERE WITH WHO YOU WANTED THEM TO BE.Without the actual time and commitment of being in an official relationship, it’s easy to get stuck on cloud nine with your feelings. The way you remember them isn’t their rawest self—you never saw the frustrations, brokenness, and faults that come with a relationship. Their attractive features are forever etched in your mind as who that person was, and that depiction of them is sadly only half the story. You fall in love with the fantasy, not the humanity and can’t snap out of it.
3. YOU GET STUCK IN THE HONEYMOON PHASE.When I think back on the early days of every potential relationship I had, the first months were so blissful. Simply hearing from them every day and getting to know their story was addicting and made me fall in love so fast. Over time, you come down to the reality that they aren’t knights in shining armor, just men, but sometimes you don’t get the chance to come off the honeymoon high before everything cuts out. All of the sudden, you have a heart full of feelings and no one to give them to. Unloading those feelings can take serious time and meditation.